"Well?" Blair looked up expectantly as Jim re-entered the bedroom from his search. After a long argument, the Maquisard had acquiesced to Jim's demand for some sort of lubricant. He had survived many times without it, couldn't really see the point of garnish on what could be a hideously painful act, but it seemed a small price to pay in the light of what he would be receiving.

Redemption.

Shamefully, Jim held up a bottle of olive oil.

Blair threw his head back and laughed, his good hand and feet drumming on the mattress. Images of being basted and fried exploded into his mind and he clamped his hand over his mouth, trying to dampen the hysterical, nervous laughter that was attempting to bubble out. Finally he calmed down enough to sit next to his lover on the bed, the extra hand and exploring mouth hindering, rather than helping the undressing procedure.

After a few pleasurable delays, Jim was as naked as the Maquisard, holding the bottle of oil his hands. He tilted it up and down for a few moments, watching the way the amber fluid shifted back and forth in its glass prison. Time to bit the bullet, Ellison.

He poured a small amount in his hands, then rubbed them together, smearing the oil evenly over his palms. An eager third hand helped him smooth the liquid over his member, both of them giggling nervously like schoolgirls. Jim shivered as the oil dripped down, his own body heat rising with his arousal, trapped in the covering and reflected back down on sensitive skin, making him even harder. He nearly came right there and then from the feeling, and did when Blair delicately circled his nipples with oil-dampened fingertips and leaned in for a nibble. Blair nuzzled and licked him clean, his tongue a soft caress and almost impossibly Jim got hard again. He hadn't had this quick a reload since he was sixteen.

More oil was applied, this time using a soft, light touch, the time for games over, then Blair shifted away, moving to the centre of the bed.

Dripping with oil and hard as a rock, the Leftenant sat there, watching the smaller man like a frightened animal about to bolt, dark blue eyes raising to meet his. A single moment frozen in time. They were going to do this. No more talking, no more playing, it was time.

Jim broke the silence first. "Um, how do I...which..." He made a see-sawing motion with his hands. "How do you want to...lie?" he asked awkwardly.

Blair sat up and considered the question. "They always wanted me on my stomach or knees for sex." He laid down carefully on his back. "I want to see you when we make love." There was a slight quaver in his voice, the air of a man used to receiving orders in bed, not offering suggestions.

"Then that's how we do it," Jim stated, face deadly serious.

Closing his eyes, Blair took a deep breath and raised his knees, slowly spreading his legs out to the sides, trying to banish daemons of the past, trying to ignore the phantom hands that grabbed and restrained him possessively. They were all gone now. This was Jim, Jim would never harm him. He reminded himself of the fact, over and over, regulating his breathing against the old, ingrained panic scrabbling at him. It slowly subsided, pushed away by a love and a need for connection, and when he was calm and centred, he opened his eyes again.

Jim was kneeling between his legs, watching him, blue orbs fearful and concerned. With a reassuring smile, Blair reached down and caught one of the hands gently stroking the outside of his thighs, giving it a little prompting squeeze.

"Are you sure?" Jim asked in a hushed tone, his own arousal painfully obvious but ignored as his eyes skittering over Blair's naked body to lock on the rosy pucker between his legs. "It looks so...small."

Blair smiled a little. "It's big enough," he said, a touch of sadness in his voice. "It stretches with you inside."

Jim leaned forwards and brushed his index finger across the entrance. Blair jerked and hissed instinctively at the touch and the remembered pain it brought, forcing himself to draw the sound out into something pleasurable. Seemingly satisfied, Jim moved closer.

Sandburg caught his breath, the motion unnoticeable as Jim gently lifted his hips to sit on strong thighs, fingers still stroking and calming as he slowly moved forwards, pressing against the little entrance. He felt the slow burn as it popped through the ring of muscle inside his body, an all-too familiar sensation, and reflexively clenched his jaw. Then he forced taut muscles to relax, a practised pattern of release down his body, from his jaw down his feet. Tensing only made the pain worse.

...It's going to hurt. You're going to tear and scream and bleed...

He forced the thought away, opening his eyes and concentrating on the tender face at the end of the bed. Jim's face was studious, his movements slow and careful as he eased his way inside, eyes flicking from his entry to the smaller man's face, looking for any signs he should stop.

Blair felt it from the inside, a fullness spreading throughout him. It had never felt like this before. Jim fit him perfectly, like they were made for each other, two halves of a whole. He felt the other man moving smoothly inside him, gliding, not chafing and tearing, no pain or fear, just an overwhelming sense of awe at the act. Jim finally stopped with a little grunt, completely sheathed, the two of them joined in the most intimate of ways.

Jim looked down at the point where he ended and Blair began, then looked up. "It fits," he said in a little whisper, unable to voice the wonder at it, being part of Blair, physically, inside him, surround by him. He bent down to taste the full lips, then gathered Blair up into his arms so they were both upright, no movements except that slow, gentle kiss, revelling in the feel of connection.

He felt Blair's arms around him, his legs coiling around his waist. The smaller man seemed content to be held, not like Caroline who demanded action, not like Caroline who raked his back with her sharp nails, not like...

Not like...

He didn't know any more, didn't care, his whole world narrowed down to a single moment in time, the feel of his lover in his arms, the feel of the arms around him, the slender fingers trailing through the sweat on his back, tracing a thousand loving, nonsensical words written in Sanskrit and saying more than any clumsy spoken language ever could.

Jim had heard the songs about moons and the stars, but never believed them, too jaded, too experienced, laughing at the crooning singers in their little suits, knowing the reality was harsher and crueller than any musician dared tell.

How wrong he had been.

Cradling his heart in his arms, he lowered them both to the bed again, this time Blair on top. He lifted his hips a little, and heard the answering gasp from his lover, the soft hissed sound like a choir of angels.

Blair felt his eyes fly wide open as Jim moved deep inside him, brushing a secret, hidden place he never knew existed. A quick shiver started deep within him, a little orgasm, ripples of pleasure spreading out from the contact and through his body. Jim repeated the motion and it happened again, stronger this time, coiling up his back and he moaned aloud, bearing down on the fullness inside him. He'd never dreamed it could be like this!

Blindly he latched onto the other man's lips, curling his good hand over the broad shoulder as they moved, faster now. He brought his other hand up as well, the aching pain from the bullet wound forgotten in the waves of pleasure taking him over. He moved up, and his erection brushed over the taut stomach, down, and the hardness inside him sent ecstasy throughout his entire being, both sensations driving him out of his mind. He felt the chest under his quicken, breaths snatched as they moved even faster now, all sense of rhythm lost as they both strained towards something sparkling just out of reach, something perfect...

And then they reached it and they howled as it exploded inside them, heat coursing through their veins, feeling their bodies respond to the completion as twin souls merged and shrieked in ecstasy.

One.