June, 2004

Last Wednesday Richard Armitage put forward the interesting view that America must not, henceforth, be questioned. Australia could not, henceforth, say which of the things America did were good and which were bad. It was all or nothing from now on.

He was putting forward, a little nervously, some thought, the doctrine of American infallibility. No ifs or buts, he said. No heckling. You're either with us or (I guess) you're with the terrorists. You do it our way. So if America decides it likes torture we must like it too, I guess. If America uplifts Ahmad Chalabi we must praise him in equal measure. If America cheers on the serial killings of Ariel Sharon we must likewise in glad chorus hail him as a man of peace. We have no other option if we are America's friend. We can't pick and choose what we like and what we don't. If we do...or if we try to...well...

Here the doctrine gets a little vague. We sense that our good, great, powerful friend is threatening us with something, but he won't say quite what, or he won't spell it out. He might 'withhold intelligence', we are told. He might let al-Qaeda blow a lot of us up. Just like a good friend would do. He might, in short, collude with al-Qaeda in the murder of a couple of hundred of us or, let's be frank, a couple of thousand of us, or a couple of million with a dirty bomb. If Powell and Armitage and Bush and Rice and Rumsfeld mean anything else by 'withhold intelligence' it's hard to know what that would be. Or they might let Indonesia invade us, and not help us out. Muslim Indonesia. The war on Iraq is that important to them. It really is.

This is the price of having infallible friends. New Zealand, their tiny longtime foe, is not so threatened. Neither, so far, is Canada. Or Spain. Or France. Or Germany. Or Russia. Or China. Or Turkey. Or Jordan. Or Syria. Friendship with a giant is costly. He keeps you in his pocket, where he can swat you to death in an instant if he feels the urge. In our fight for freedom, it seems, we are not free to fight in any other way than infallible America's way. If America says David Hicks tried to spy on an embassy that wasn't there, well, the embassy was there after all. If David Hicks is to get forty years for it, well, it's not our place as a true loyal friend to speak up in his defence. This is an equal friendship, in which some are more equal than others. When your friend is America the Infallible you do not disagree. When Big Brother says two plus two equals five you humbly agree.

It's hard to see where this doctrine of infallibility historically hails from. Not from Iran, or Guatemala where American foreign policy did a lot of harm. Not from Cuba or Chile. Not from Vietnam. Not from Granada or Panama or Lebanon. Not from Nicaragua or El Salvador. Not from Somalia. Not from Palestine. Not from Afghanistan where Americans like John Rambo backed the Taliban against the irreligious Russians. Not from Rwanda or, lately, Sudan. And yet the doctrine is there. It is like Hitler's fuhrerprinzip, obedience upwards, responsibility downwards. So only the Americans can sort out Fallujah, or Najaf, or Karbala. Only the Americans can get the oil flowing again, and the oil price down. Only the Americans, now or ever, had the answer.

A branch of schizophrenia is a bit like this. You know you are the Messiah, and are puzzled that others doubt it. You know the answer is simple, and are annoyed when others shake their heads, or twirl their fingers round their ears and smile at you. You know that God, if he is not you, is on your side.

And so the craziness goes on, and John Howard grovels before it. Hundreds die every month, and widows and mothers grieve. The Americans haven't a clue what Islamic culture is, or what freedom is either (it includes being free of torture) and we happily nod along, like a flattering eunuch in the court of Cleopatra, delaying the day when a haughty, conquering Caesar spits us on his sword. What fools we will look when President Kerry bemusedly asks us why we did it. And how we will tremble as we try to answer.

© Bob Ellis