Obvious research wastes money

Published: Friday, April 16, 2004At this very moment, the scientific world is hard at work, never sleeping and always trying to produce. Every sickness known to man has as little as one and as many as thousands of teams of scientists toiling to find its weakness, a treatment and/or a cure. Everything from cancer to heart disease to Alzheimer's is exhaustably studied, examined, tested and probed - and as we well know, there are countless problems scientists have yet to find the answers to, but their efforts are nonetheless valued because of the potential the end result would contain.

However, working parallel - yet certainly not equal - to these heroic pioneers is another classification of scientist. They appear in entertainment articles, Web pages and sensationalist TV news programs.

They carry - or should be federally mandated to hold - the singular title of Dr. Obvious.

These are the scientists that challenge not great, unproven mysteries such as Newton did gravity - a topic never confirmed in any way coming close to our current scientific methods. These are the scientists that base their studies on currently understood theories of life that are so unquestionable, or whose answers are so apparent to the lowest of intellects, that it makes anyone cringe when thinking their money may have supported these asinine investigations.

Examples of studies are displayed online, on television and even by The Lantern. "Caffeine, sleeplessness linked in teenagers;" A report which stated people on low-carb diets are more irritable; and a study about how heavy social drinkers exhibit the same amount of brain damage as alcoholics.

In other words, these articles are outright telling America that scientists have spent millions of dollars on confirming the following: College students drink caffeine to stay up late at night and subsequently get little sleep; people get grouchy when they can't eat almost three-quarters of all foods they used to eat; people who drink a lot socially receive the same physical effects as those who drink a lot because of a supposedly genetic trait. Great.

The complaint is simple: Stop wasting money on behaviors or natural occurances that do not require a scientist to explain. There are too many important experiments that need performed; too many diseases that are without cure; too many life-threatening conditions to be corrected. All in all, there are too many meaningful studies to be performed for the scientific community to allow these uninspired, unimaginative money-mongers to continue telling society what it already knows.

Media to blame for printing obvious

Published: Friday, April 23, 2004
As a member of a field in which researchers regularly report findings that many people would claim to find obvious?I took issue with your abusive Friday editorial "Stupid Studies."

Results that may seem obvious or unimportant after the research is complete may not have been as obvious beforehand. While results may seem intuitive, there are often several competing intuitive?theories that need to be directly compared in order to understand certain phenomena. In addition, "obvious" results are often part of a broader program of research. There is every possibility that the studies being reported contained many more conclusions than those reported by the media. That the press chooses to report only certain sensationalist, "obvious" findings is not the fault of the scientists doing the research. It is the fault of the media.

Lastly, after reading your column I realized something. Isn't your column obvious? Anyone can see for themselves that certain research seems to be a total waste of time and money. So, it seems like in this case, it is your column that could also be considered a total waste of time and money - although you no doubt have a deadline to meet, inches to fill and circulation to maintain. So, might it not be fair to suggest that it is your staff who are the "uninspired, unimaginative money-mongers," as you so unfairly labeled hard-working scientists?

Kevin Miller