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The Ages of Life Coaching

Life Coaching through the ages is a series of life coaching studies based around my CD Life Coaching The First Forty Years. This is a program of life coaching that covers the early years through to 40. For the online version I will add an extra module to take it to 50.

The purpose of the program is to use existing experiences and those about to come in a fusion of the past, the present in a profusion of possibilities and probabilities. This not for its own end but as a way to determine how the bank vault that is you is constructed. The construction material is important, the builder is important and key is how the nascent building interfaced with the materials and the builders. Secondly once the construction of the vault is understood better, then we can begin to understand how the lock was constructed and by whom. Withe lock understood (perhaps only dimly at this stage) then we can begin to understand how to go about fashioning a key or a combination to unlock it. This is easier said than done. At all stages of the process, there will be revelation and catharsis. A precursor to this is courage and how to harness it to detonate previous problems, issues and problems. But a controlled detonation but nonetheless accompanied by pain and release from pain, by sorrow and release from sorrow, by regret and release from regret, by self-awareness and release from self imposed prison.

The Early Years - to 10

The Age of Acceptance. Extravagant gifts in full bloom but the world is ready to slash and burn the growth. No reinforcement as parents in crisis. Parents in Time Wasting Years. Parents waiting for you to grow up to be at least interesting and vibrant. Cannot grow fast enough. Brian under developed and under done. A time of rational and irrational thought but irrational thought within existing and accepted parameters. Rational thought allied to natural environment and scientific basis determined, learned and gradually, begrudgingly accepted. An age of questioning. What to Watch Out For - Being hurt and closing one's mind and heart to learning. Accepting that someone else could be better than us and us still feel whole and full.

The Teen Years - 11 to 20

The First Age of Rebellion. An unknowing rejection of the world and all it stands for. Deep seated anger and feelings of helplessness. Awakening of the senses. No control over the mental or physical aspects of one's existence. Physical abundance but no stores kept. Expenditure of all that is acquired. No accumulation per se but of disasters and problems which are merely shrugged off. No analysis in depth. No defence merely attack but un-coordinated. Experimentation with altered stated. Drugs and alcohol. Music choices. Friends choices. Choices but no options. Choices but no selection. Some interpretation of self but poorly executed and outlined. Improbable relationships. Broken heart and disastrous love affairs. Taking safe but wrong choices. What to Watch Out For - Excess consumption of love, sex, drugs and alcohol that will impair later performance. Losing a match and not taking part in the game.

Wilderness Years 21-30

The Second Age of Rebellion. A more knowing partial rejection of the world. A drift from the things we wanted to do to things we have to do to make a living. A distance opens up inside us between the dream and the possible. You stop to deal with dreams and begin to deal with the possible and the probable. The age of compromise. This distance will become almost impossible to bridge. Once it opens it will only get bigger and bigger. There is perhaps an inkling of the talent at our disposal but not much more than that. There are dreams but no mechanisms for making these dreams come true. There is sexual and sensual fantasy but no hope of salvation or hope of relief. There is only confusion at the beginning of this age and no way out then. There will be some enlightenment towards the end of this age but not with any depth. It will be mere suspicion, one will merely suspect there is another way of dealing with friends, family and work but no deep awareness of how to reach that way. What to Watch Out For - Not laying any foundations for the future. Excessive consumption of everything but now in moderation. You must destroy the saying "everything in moderation". It is in excess or nothing at all. One can't have half fun.

Time Wasting Years 31-40

This is an age of the frivolous, of wanton waste. This is the decade when we are at our peak earning capacity. Employers know this and tie us down will all sorts of spurious incentives to stay in their employ. This must be resisted with all the force available at our disposal (which at this stage is not much). This is the age when we are asked to make a real commitment from our partner. It stops being a joke and takes on more serious portent. Any romantic mistakes which we let ride now become embedded for life. It is truly an age when the bonds solidify, the chains gel, the body enslaved to the will. This age marks the Third Age of Rebellion. A more mature rejection of not the world but of ourselves and all poor decision making powers and the resultant "have to live with it" mistakes. A realisation that there is more to decision making that the empirical evidence. Some decisions and point of view make sense without evidence and facts. Make more sense without evidence and facts. What to Watch Out For - Living a lie. Living with an embedded mistake. The wrong partner at this time is critical to future problems and failure.

Time of Reckoning 41-50

In this age rebellion is futile and stamped out using draconian techniques. Issues, problems and mistakes that in the previous 40 years had occurred but which insufficient time had been spent to really understand the root causes of now come home to roost. There is a clear understanding that the problems of the past are only really one problem but which manifests itself in various ways. A relationship problem with Mum or Dad manifests itself in poor and distant relationships with partners and children. At this age, there is no running away into nonsense and nonsensical sexual relationships. There is no escape into hobbies or past times. By this age, the morphing from a previous age to the next stops, dead in the water. Time stands still or time speeds up. There is no rest. There is no sleep in this troubled age of shattered illusions. This is the age for relationship breakdowns, unemployment, illness of a serious kind, mental health issues and for some all these occur simultaneously, a truly knock out blow. What to Watch Out For - Nervous breakdown, depression, mental health issues. Physical health issues. Weight and obesity issues.

Waiting Forward Whilst Looking Back 51-60

Or is it looking back whilst waiting for forward time to pass? Where is the focus here? Is it back or front? By this age, this will have been settled. Based on the 41-50 years this could be one of deep regret and unhappiness. Watching one's life pass by slowly. Thinking there are no more chances for happiness, wealth and fame. What to Watch Out For - death and fatal illnesses. Making the most of the body we now deserve.

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I also do a small amount of pro-bono work in the area of life coaching. I belong to the Life Coaching Pro Bono Group (LCPBG), a group of life coaches I am putting together to do this type of work for people in need but who may not be able to afford the services of a full fee life coach. We make allowances for your circumstances and also on the understanding that once you're back on your feet, your capacity to contribute to your life coaching will also improve.

Generally speaking, we will set clear goals, we will put in place plans to attain those goals, we will execute the plan effectively. We will monitor and survey the results and ensure our goals are met. In most cases, we will envelope what we are trying to achieve into a coaching programme.

I operate flexibly taking into account the needs of the client as we progress with the programme.

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