A Lesson in Seamanship by Clonesgirl
Part II: A Considered Response
Thank God! was all Acting Lieutenant Horatio Hornblower could think as he made it safely to his quarters. Yes, he had encountered Mr Bracegirdle along the way who had invited him for a game of cards with the officers, and he had replied he-knew-not-what to him, and fled to his bunk where he now lay in the dark, not even daring to light a candle. It was only at that moment he realised he had left his books behind in the Captain's quarters. As if he could study tonight anyway, he reflected, running his fingers through his unruly curls. At least the walk to his quarters had subdued his rebellious manhood and he was grateful for that much. But why? he asked. Why had he reacted that way to a simple discussion on survival tactics in a murderous squall?
Piece by piece he recalled the conversation that had taken place in his Captain's quarters. Even now, in the solitude of his own tiny cabin, Captain Pellew's words had the power to bring him out in a sweat. Naked masts? Mists clearing? Oh, Lord, his heart was pounding like it wanted to jump right out of his breast! He even seemed to be panting a little, he realised. Gradually, he calmed until he was able to think clearly and rationally.
He was looking right at me, he realised. He was gazing straight into my eyes when he spoke of naked masts, and I... Oh, God! He touched his manhood in remembrance of what he had felt in his Captain's presence. No, he didn't mean... He couldn't possibly mean... that? No, it's just not possible! Not the Captain! Is it? he wondered. Could he possibly... ?
But then why did he say that? And what was that about masts aimed at the stars? He closed his eyes and remembered exactly the way his Captain had spoken the words. Even now he flushed at the memory and his body reacted, the symptoms of physical arousal making themselves known once more.
Oh, God, what is the matter with me? he moaned aloud, trying desperately to think straight. I do so love him, but... Oh, Lord, was that what he was saying? Was that what he was trying to tell me? That he wants me? He glanced down at the evidence of his own body. And 'twould seem that I want him too! he realised, heat rising in him. Was that truly what he was saying? That he needs me?
In his mind a picture formed. He and his Captain stood side by side, their arms around one another. He held the image in his mind, studying them, contemplating how right they looked together. In the wink of an eye the image changed and they were kissing, holding each other so very closely. Completely astonished by the sight, he blinked and the image immediately vanished.
My God, we were kissing! I was kissing Captain Pellew - and seemingly enjoying it! he realised, his member swelling even more at the vision. We were lovers! I was his lover! Oh, yes! He is gentle. For all his toughness, he has a gentle heart. He would teach me, and I would never be afraid with him.
Yes, that *was* what he was saying! he realised. He needs me! Captain Pellew needs me to bring him comfort, young and inexperienced though I am. He has offered me my dreams and what did I do? Ran like a scared rabbit! What a coward! Oh, God, he will think I have rejected him, prize fool that I am! No, never! I must go to him. But what if he does not wish to see me now? I wouldn't blame him if he rejected me. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips together. Pray God he will see me! he pleaded. Pray God he will! And pray God that I am not wrong, for if I am, he will think me the worst fool that ever lived!
However, he realised that before he could set foot outside his cabin he had first to subdue his rebellious manhood. He dare not be seen walking through the ship in this state. He decided he could always hold his hat in front of him before discarding that idea as being a bit too obvious. He counted slowly to ten but found that this time it did not quite work. He thought of being flung overboard into the icy water. Now that was more like it!
He rose from his bunk and splashed some cold water on his face, drying it quickly. His hands were shaking a little as he opened the door as quietly as possible and left his quarters, hoping that he would encounter no one along the way. He heard the other officers enjoying their card game but his mind was on the task ahead of him. His hand seemed to shake a little more as he knocked on the door of the Captain's quarters and waited for permission to enter.
On the other side of the door Captain Pellew heard the knock with extreme annoyance at the intrusion into his privacy. He did not wish to be disturbed, did not wish to see anyone at present unless, of course, there was something amiss with the ship.
"Enter!" he barked, finally turning toward the door, only to see the very last person in the world he expected to see walking toward him in all his long-legged grace and dark-eyed beauty. Hands gripped tightly behind his back, he stood stock still.
"I trust you are feeling better, sir?"
"Much better, sir."
"Then if you've come for your books, Mr Hornblower, you may retrieve them."
The Captain's voice, Hornblower thought, was as cold as he had ever heard it, a far cry from the intimate tone of earlier.
Refusing to be intimidated, he strode to within six feet of his Captain and stood his ground, praying that he would not stammer in front of this man who meant so very much to him.
"N-No, sir. Ah, that is... That is not the reason I came."
The Captain frowned. "What then, man? Out with it."
"Sir, I came to g-give you my response. Uh, that is, to... to the situation you posed earlier this evening," he added, his nerves getting the better of him.
"Did you now, sir?" The man's face bore not an ounce of expression, Hornblower decided, doing his best to ignore it. "Well before you do, you should understand that you are under no personal obligation to me what so ever."
"Y-Yes, sir. I understand that, sir. However, if... If you recall the circumstances you posed, I should still like to give you my response." The man's eyes bored into his.
"Oh, would you?"
The Captain's voice dripped irony and Hornblower was sure the deck was heaving beneath him in spite of the fact that the sea was relatively calm.
"Yes, sir."
"And your considered response is?"
Hornblower took a deep breath, licked his lips a little and returned his Captain's steady gaze. "You asked if the two bare masts were aimed at the stars. They are, sir. Both of them," he added so that there could be no mistaking his meaning. He said it all at once, fearing that if he said it slowly he would stumble and stutter.
Captain Sir Edward Pellew felt as if he was frozen to the spot. His legs felt like lead weights and all he could think, all he could see was the splendid vision standing before him. The most beautiful and bravest young officer he had ever served with was offering himself to him, and the sudden, unexpected relief on hearing his words was almost enough to flatten him. So resolute in battle, he was yet defeated by love. Still, he had to be sure beyond any possibility of doubt.
He took a step forward. "You are... quite sure, Mr Hornblower." It was phrased somewhere between a question and a statement.
"Aye, sir. Q-quite sure." Smiling, his confidence restored, he took a step toward his Captain, quite unafraid now and anticipating whatever the man wished of him. They now stood only two feet apart.
It was the smile that proved Captain Edward Pellew's undoing; the smile and the nearness of this most desired one. His heart seemed to leap in his breast and he felt as though he could weep for joy. What stood before him now, in all his brave young beauty, was no mist-shrouded vision.
Unclasping his hands from behind his back, he stepped closer to reality. "In that case, Mr Hornblower, come give your Captain a fond embrace!"
Hornblower swallowed. "Uh, gladly, sir. I ask only that you excuse my clumsiness and inexperience."
Lord, but the boy is a virgin even to kisses! Edward Pellew realised, astounded.
He found himself smiling. "Then I shall make allowance for your inexperience, Mr Hornblower. In the meantime, I look forward to instructing you. Would such an arrangement be acceptable to you, sir?"
"Oh, yes, sir!" was the eager and somewhat breathless reply.
Edward Pellew watched in fascination as Hornblower stepped closer until their bodies almost touched. His hand, of its own accord, reached out to stroke the smoothness of a cheek, moving to the sharp line of the jaw as desire once more raised its flaming head. However, this time he welcomed it.
* * *
