Debt of Dishonour Book II: A Gothic Palace

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Part VI
 

Lieutenant Archie Kennedy stood alone high atop the central tower of Brookhill Abbey gazing into the distance. To the south he could see the ancient monoliths of Stonehenge and beyond that, hidden in a light mist, was the sea; the sea that all three of them would be returning to very soon.

They had often spoken of Horatio getting his first command and he knew that that day was very close now; so close that he could almost touch it, almost feel it. Edward expected him to go with Horatio. Horatio expected the same. It had never been discussed, merely taken for granted that they would go together. However, after recent events, he knew just how lonely Edward would be without them - and he could not bear the thought of their dearest commanding officer left bereft. He also could not bear the thought of Horatio leaving on his own. It was a dilemma that sorely vexed the young lieutenant and he knew that he had been putting off making a decision for far too long.

Perhaps now was the time, he thought. Horatio was gambling, and winning too from what he had seen when he had glanced in on him; Edward was off somewhere with their host no doubt discussing the merits of the Italian versus Flemish schools of art, or their favourite operas. The two men seemed to have a lot in common, he mused.

If he had been on the ship he would have climbed the rigging to clear his thoughts. As it was, he decided to go for a ride.

*

As he made his way to the stables on the abbey's east side he could not help but smile at the peacocks which seemed to roost everywhere and which were so tame.

As he rode at a canter on a large grey mare he was amazed by the thickly wooded forest. Not just the peacocks but all animal life in the vicinity seemed tame. Stansford had explained that he would never allow hunting on the grounds and that his sole reason for erecting the wall around the estate had been to keep out
hunters.

A hare, normally so timid, watched him from under a young conifer. He slowed his horse to a walk and the hare did not move, just gazed at him, its inquisitive whiskers twitching.

He dismounted and walked toward the hair, stopping six feet away and expecting it to run away at any moment. However, it did not. Wishing he had something to feed it with, he looked at the ground about him. Finally he spied an acorn from a large oak tree nearby and went to pick it up. Growing up in the city, he was
not even sure if hares ate acorns but it was the only thing he could find.

Walking slowly and quietly back to the hare he held out the acorn in his hand. The timid, little creature gazed warily at him, ready to flee if need be. However, as Archie remained still, it hopped closer, grabbed the acorn and hopped away into the forest. Archie smiled to himself, wondering if his host fed them.

Mounting his horse once more, he headed off at a gallop for he was now far from the abbey and his sailor's eye did not trust the weather, especially the heavy clouds building up to the north-west and the stiff breeze now blowing from the same direction was rustling the trees around him.

*

By the time Archie returned the wind had picked up considerably and heavy spots of rain were already hitting the ground. One of the stable boys showed him the south-east entrance to the abbey and he ran for it as the rain began in earnest.

Now that his mind was made up, he very much desired to speak with his companions and sought them out. He found Horatio in the King Edward gallery sitting amongst a pile of books, his eyes gleaming as he leafed through one.

There seemed to be no one else around as Archie called out softly to him.

Horatio almost dropped the book. "Archie, you startled me! Where have you been?"

"I went for a ride. So how much did you win?"

Horatio could not hide his grin. "Four hundred and thirty-seven pounds and four shillings!"

Archie's jaw dropped as he threw his hat up into the air. "Oh, Horatio, what are you going to do with it all?"

"I don't know. I haven't even thought about it. We need new clothing."

"Yes, and new uniforms. Perhaps we could buy a gift for Edward too."

"And something for the ship!"

"Of course. Here! Here's your share!"

Horatio took the money out of his pocket, counted it into two neat piles and gave Archie one of them. However, much to his surprise, his companion, instead of picking it up merely stared at it before backing away.

"Archie?"

Archie shook his head. "Horatio, no. Thank you but no. I can not take it."

"Archie! Archie, we always share everything! Please, take your share."

Archie instead backed away even further.

"No, I can not, Horatio. It is yours. You won it fair and square."

"Archie! Archie, why?"

"You will be on your own soon, with your own ship to command. You will need money, at least to get you started. Keep it, my love. Keep it for when you need it most."

Horatio gazed into his lover's eyes, seeing the determination there and knowing that Archie's mind was made up.

"Is that your final decision, Lieutenant Kennedy?"

"Aye, Lieutenant Hornblower." However, his manner seemed to soften. "The money is yours, Horatio, and you will need it."

Horatio reluctantly picked up the money and put it back in his pocket.

Archie began to look at the rows and rows of books on either side of the gallery.

"Such a collection," he murmured.

"Oh, yes!" his lover enthused. "You must see these books, Archie. They are so beautiful. Mr Stansford says he has six thousand books and boasts of having read every single one. Is that not extraordinary? He says he reads a new one over breakfast every morning and another in the evening."

"Nothing surprises me about Mr Stansford." Absently, he picked up one of the books that Horatio had removed from a bookshelf. "Horatio, where is Edward?"

Horatio indicated the direction of the vaulted corridor with its closed doors.

"What's he doing in there?"

"He went in there with our esteemed host almost half an hour ago. I was surprised when they disappeared like that."

"Nothing surprises me in this place. What's in there?"

Horatio shook his head and went back to his book.

"Our host seems quite taken with Edward," Archie continued.

"And Edward with him."

"You've noticed."

Horatio glanced up at him. "I should not concern myself about it."

"I'm not."

"Then what?"

"I need to speak with you."

Horatio put the book down. "I am here, Archie."

"I mean with both of you."

"Oh. Well no doubt Edward will not be long. Archie, look at this book! Is it not beautiful?"

Archie sat down beside him and they shared the book.

Shortly thereafter they both became aware of a noise at the end of the corridor as the doors were opened and two figures emerged, the bright glow of the candlelight behind them illuminating their silhouettes. Although they were not touching, both the younger men noticed how close together they walked.

After they had exchanged pleasantries Horatio asked about the glow at the end of the corridor and Stansford, ever the gracious host, promptly took the younger officers to see the oratory.

Left alone, Edward picked up the book that Horatio had left behind. It was a book on the voyages of Sir Francis Drake and his ship 'Golden Hinde'. Smiling, Edward sat down with it.

After a few minutes had passed he glanced in the direction of the oratory only to see two figures outlined before the altar in an apparent embrace. They were joined by a third before all three turned and walked toward him. However, much to Edward's surprise, as they drew near, Stansford announced that he would see them later at dinner and left, striding away on his quick, light feet. He also noticed Archie gaze fondly after him before turning to face him.

"Edward, I would speak with you."

Edward smiled at him. "Archie, if you are concerned about Mr Stansford, then let me assure you your fears are groundless. He is a friend, no doubt a confidante, and you have both witnessed his affectionate nature. However, this is our last day here. This time tomorrow Brookhill will be a fond memory and this time next week we shall certainly be back at sea."

"It is not about Mr Stansford, Edward."

"Then speak, dearest lad, for you need hold nothing back from your companions, you know that."

"It is only that..." he glanced around at the open gallery where other guests might disturb them, "...I would wish for a more private place."

"Come then, let us adjourn to the oratory. I believe our host will not mind if we close the doors for a short while."

Once in the oratory Archie stood gazing at the altar while Horatio and Edward exchanged puzzled looks. Finally, he turned and in two long strides stood before Horatio.

"My Horatio." He gazed deeply into Horatio's dark eyes before embracing him warmly. "I love you, you know. We seldom say it, do we, for the knowledge is certain within us. But now I must say it. Now," he glanced at the statue of St Anthony, "in this holy place, I must say it for soon, very soon now, you will have your own command."

Turning to Edward, he continued.

"Edward, you have always assumed that I will go with Horatio when he is assigned his own ship. Horatio, you have also assumed that I shall be with you. You have not sought my opinion. You have not bothered to inquire what I wish for - beyond the obvious of course, that we might stay together all three of us, but we all know that that's impossible. Still, I, too, have an opinion, and I have come to a decision." He paused and paced away a few steps before turning back to his companions once more.

"Edward, I know that you wish me to go with Horatio, and I understand your reasons. Once upon a time I might have thought that it was because you wished me to look after him and keep him safe for you." As Edward went to protest, he held up his hand, begging his indulgence. "I know now that you love me - as an equal - and that is the single most important thing in my life. Your faith in me has given me courage; your respect has made me strong. Edward, look at me as I am today and know that I am what you have made me. I have seen action many times but I have not had a fit in years. You have taught me to take pride in my accomplishments and I am an officer that the men respect. All of this I have achieved because of you."

Turning back to Horatio once more, he was struck by the beauty of his lover's features, and also by the expression of concern he bore. He smiled. "Don't look so worried, Horatio." He reached out to touch his cheek, to gently run his fingers down it only to have Horatio catch his hand and bring it to his lips to kiss it. "What a fine commander you will be, my love! And I shall be by your side, but..." for a moment he faltered, "...but only for your maiden voyage." At Horatio's look of non-comprehension he continued.

"Allow me to finish please. I have given it much thought. Horatio, dearest friend and companion of my heart, you will make new friends wherever you go, if you will but allow it. You will inspire men to follow you. You were born to command and to earn the respect of officers and men alike - and that is why I shall leave you after your maiden voyage. I shall stay only long enough to ensure that your officers and men are loyal to you..." he swallowed hard, his eyes overly bright in the glow from the altar, "then... then, if he will have me back, I shall rejoin Edward."

Stunned by Archie's words, Edward stood rooted to the spot. "Archie..." he whispered. "Archie, no..."

Archie turned to him now, resting his hands on Edward's shoulders and smiling openly at him.

"Yes, Edward. I know now that this is what I want; that this is how it must be."

Edward shook his head. "Archie, why? You belong with Horatio! I have always known that."

"Because I also love you, Edward. I know that Horatio means the world to you for he is and has always been your protege. You know that I say this with no malice or jealousy for I, too became your protege. I will never be brilliant like Horatio, but I am seasoned and I am a good commander." He paused and took a deep breath. "Dearest Edward, I know that you must lose Horatio, for we both must, but it will not be forever and we shall keep a close eye on him. In the meantime, if you wish it, I shall be by your side for as long as there is breath left in my body."

For a long moment their eyes held, until Edward stepped forward, his hands reaching out to touch. The next thing he knew Archie was holding him hard and he was blinded by the unexpected sting of scalding tears.

"Yes, my dearest lad, my Archie! Yes!" he whispered, his voice broken.

Archie held him, rubbing his back and kissing his wet cheeks.

"Forgive me," Edward murmured.

"Only if you kiss me!"

Archie's light-hearted remark had the desired effect as Edward fondly shook his head, smiling at him now.

As Archie's lips, so close to his own, turned up and his cheeks became dimpled, Edward was powerless to resist. Leaning forward, he kissed the lovely, smiling mouth, tasting his own tears on his lover's lips and knowing that this beautiful, selfless one had just changed all of their futures.

Horatio watched them kissing, their bodies pressed against each other. Embracing them both, he knew how intrinsically right it was for his lovers to be together, both now and in the future.

As the kiss ended Edward stroked Archie's cheeks and gazed into his beautiful blue eyes, seeing the passion there and relishing it.

"You are wise beyond your years, my Archie," he murmured.

Archie hugged him hard enough to crack ribs before turning to Horatio.

"Horatio, you know that I would not willingly part from you."

"I know, and..." he held his finger over Archie's lips, moist now from kissing, "...and I am so glad you will be with Edward, my love. You were right, Archie," he whispered. "You were right."

Edward shook his head, wondering what he had done to inspire such deep love and loyalty in these two handsome young men. He could not seem to utter a word for words seemed superfluous in the circumstances. All he wanted to do was hold his companions close to him forever and protect them from the danger that was always at hand while ever the war dragged on.

"Edward?"

It was Horatio speaking to him. Belatedly, he turned to him.

"Edward, you must take care of our Archie."

"Always," Edward murmured. Turning to Archie, he continued, "I love you both, equally, for the men you are, and for the officers you are."

Archie smiled. "And for the way we fuck you!" he whispered in his ear.

Edward chuckled. "That too!" He took a deep, shuddering breath. "That too, my lusty lad, for I, too, have reached a decision. In fact, I have taken a vow in this holy place." He glanced up at the statue.

"Not of chastity I trust!" Archie remarked, grinning.

Edward chuckled, shaking his head. "A little late for chastity I think. No, I have decided that, no matter the law, no matter the church, no matter what others think, and, especially, no matter my own conscience, I shall cast out guilt in all its manifestations. You are grown men; you know your own hearts; you are old enough to make your own choices as Archie has so ably demonstrated this very evening. I am exceeding fortunate in that I have been blessed by the love of two exceptional young men. I therefore choose not to feel guilt for loving them any more than they feel it for loving me."

Horatio touched Edward's damp cheeks. "Oh, Edward, have you always felt such guilt?" he murmured, the note of pain in his voice unmistakable.

"Always, my love, for I was your captain and I had no right to seduce you as I did; no right to even think of you with lust in my heart - either one of you," he added.

Horatio shook his head. "No! No, Edward, I wanted it! Oh, maybe I was confused at first, but once I realised what you really wanted, I knew that I wanted it too with all my heart. I wanted to be in your bed and in your arms. I wanted you to kiss me and I wanted to know what it would be like to... to feel your member in me. Instead, you let me enter you. You wanted me to fuck you - and I felt privileged beyond belief that my revered captain had let himself be vulnerable; had trusted me - me, Horatio Hornblower - inexperienced as I was, to be gentle with him. You gave me your trust, Edward; do you know how much I loved you for that? How I loved you for it! The next day I walked around with my head in the clouds because my dearest captain had entrusted his body to me. He had let me love him in my own clumsy way, and my whole life would never be the same again. My dearest Edward, I will carry the memory of that night to my grave, and never, ever shall I bear a single moment of regret, or guilt, or remorse. I loved you. It was what I wanted. *You* were what I wanted."

Overcome by Horatio's words, Edward buried his face in his shoulder. "Dear God, lad. And here I thought I had abandoned honour to seduce a sweet, innocent boy."

Horatio shook his head. "More ignorant than innocent, but you were my captain, and even then I thought the world of you. I could not wait for the next time when I hoped you would take me in most vigorous manner."

Edward chuckled softly, grinning at him. "Wicked boy!"

"He is!" a grinning Archie agreed.

"You both are!"

Archie waggled a finger at him. "Now, Edward, would you rather we were good little boys who went to bed every night in our lonely bunks and read our prayer books?"

Edward shook his head, a quizzical smile on his face. "You both know my answer to that."

"You mean you prefer fornicating to praying," Archie concluded.

Edward kissed him full on his gently smiling mouth. "Does that answer your question?"

Archie grinned at him.

His heart full, Commodore Sir Edward Pellew embraced his lovers, the statue of St Anthony gazing down benevolently on them.

* * *