Departure by Clonesgirl
Part V: A Matter of Honour
How could he bear it? Edward Pellew wondered as he stood at the fireplace. That his dear ones had had to compromise their honour in order to return to him was more than he wished to contemplate.
After a few moments he heard footsteps approach and was aware of gentle hands resting on his shoulders.
"Edward?" It was Archie. "Edward, please?"
"Edward, we beg of you, do not turn away from us," Horatio pleaded. "You act as though we have shamed you."
He forced himself to turn and face them, to confront them both.
"My dears, there is no price I would not pay to keep you from harm. I have known and lived with that knowledge for years. Each time I have sent into danger my heart has been in my mouth and I have prayed for your safe return. Now I find that the love I bear you both has only lead you to harm. I cannot but believe that this was my fault!"
"But, Edward, we were not harmed!" they both protested. "And it was not your fault!" Horatio added.
"Not at all," Archie agreed. "It was *our* choice."
"And what of honour?" Edward asked quietly. "What of your honour, gentlemen?"
"Edward, you once accused me of being too punctilious in matters of honour," Horatio began He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "Because we deemed this matter to be of very great importance," he glanced at Archie who smiled and nodded at him, "this time I was less so."
"I do not even see it as a matter of honour," Archie continued. "It was... an appropriate solution which led to a fervently desired outcome."
"Well said, Archie! I concur wholeheartedly," Horatio agreed. He pursed his full lips in thought. "There are times when honour has to make way for practicality, Edward, and our actions - such as they were - were of great practical value."
Archie nodded. "Our actions were of enormous benefit to all three of us, and you cannot deny that, Edward," he concluded.
Edward sighed in resignation. They both gazed at him in deadly earnest, waiting for him to refute their argument, if he could. He could not, and he knew it, for he loved them both far too much for their own good. Besides, their actions had brought them back into his life, an outcome for which previously he could not possibly have hoped. Not withstanding his delight at their sudden and unexpected return, he simply could not believe the price they had had to pay in order to do so.
"Edward, had we not acted as we did, we would at this very minute be headed for the West Indies. Would you really prefer that?" Horatio demanded.
They both glared at him, daring him to deny the absolute truth of their words.
Against his will, Edward remembered the black grief he had felt only that morning as he had stood in the pouring rain and watched 'Renown' slip her moorings. As that gaping hollowness once again closed over him he felt as though he were drowning in a bitter cold sea with only memories of their love and the ghosts of their presence to keep him company. A sudden chill went through him at the thought of what might have been and he momentarily shivered. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath - and firmly banished the nightmare forever.
His heart full, he murmured, "Forgive me. Forgive me, beloveds. I..." Before he could utter another word their arms were around him, crushing him between them.
"Oh, Edward! Dearest Edward!" Horatio was murmuring while they kissed his cheeks and squeezed the life out of him.
"Edward, darling, we both missed you so!" Archie murmured.
He was about to tell them how much he had also missed their presence when a sweet, luscious mouth engulfed his own and all thought was lost, replaced by sensation and longing and the wonder of having two such beautiful young men love his humble self.
As his tongue plundered Horatio's lovely mouth, tasting thoroughly and repeatedly of him, Edward felt Archie press tender lips to his cheek over and over.
Of a sudden, Edward Pellew felt alive once more; the blood sang through his veins and he wanted to cry at the sheer beauty of it. They were back! His dear ones, whom he had believed lost to him, truly were back in his arms! What matter if their return had necessitated compromising their honour for love of him? They had dared to wager their careers, and won. By God they had won! Horatio and Archie were back, and that was all that mattered.
His heart soaring, Edward turned to kiss his second lover as deeply and with as much enthusiasm as the first, for he had long loved them both with equal fervour. Once, he had believed that, much though he was fond of Archie, the brave, the beautiful, the clever Horatio would always be his first love. How wrong he had been! Few young men would have survived what Archie Kennedy had endured, both at the hands of the brutal Simpson and the tender mercies of the Spanish. It was many years now since he had had a fit, the young man growing in confidence and stature to be respected among his peers and the men alike. Though not mathematically gifted like Horatio, he was bright as a button and had blossomed under their combined tutelage to the point that he had readily passed his examination for lieutenant with flying colours. Add to this the fact that Archie was as brave and even as beautiful as Horatio, and Edward had found himself loving him with that same remarkable devotion he felt for Horatio, and which he had never thought to possibly feel for anyone else.
As the kiss ended of its own accord, he saw that Archie's blue eyes were filled with tears.
"Edward," he murmured, his voice breaking. "Our darling Edward, how could we leave you whom we love so dearly?"
"We could not bear it," Horatio whispered in his ear, continuing to embrace and stroke him. "We had to do all that we could, take any opportunity that arose that would enable us to return to you. What happened was truly a godsend."
"Yes, and you had been out in the cold this morning and got drenched to the skin!" Archie accused.
Horatio glanced at Archie, his large eyes widening. "You saw her depart, didn't you! You watched 'Renown' sail."
"That's why you came home soaked to the skin!" Archie exclaimed. "Oh, Edward, you were in such a poor state when you came home that we feared for you."
"You thought you saw us sail out of your life," Horatio murmured between kisses, "but you were mistaken." He gazed deeply into Edward's dark eyes; eyes that were now shining with tears. "Dearest Edward, after all you have done for us the least we could do for you was to escape 'Renown' by any legitimate means at our disposal."
"It was the very least we could do for our dearest Captain," Archie agreed.
Edward smiled. "It's Commodore now," he protested mildly, knowing full well that they both already knew this.
Twin smiles greeted him in response.
"And no one deserves it more than you," Archie complimented, lips meeting Edward's again and again.
"But no matter your rank you will always be *our* Captain," Horatio proclaimed, kissing his cheek.
"Our beloved Captain!" Archie agreed, hugging him.
Edward's own tears - this time of happiness - threatened to spill over as he hugged them, endeavouring to return their kisses. "And you know that I love you both far, far too much," he murmured between kisses.
Held firmly in the circle of their dual embrace, he leaned back a little, smiling at them. "My dearest officers, allow me to give you a proper welcome home. What would you have of your old Captain? Tell me of your fondest wishes, my loves, and I shall endeavour to grant them."
"Take us to bed!" they chorused, kissing him again.
* * *
