Before the Mast

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"Mr Hornblower!"

"Yes, sir?"

"A word if you please."

"Aye, sir!"

<cough, splutter> "Mr Hornblower, how dare you, sir!"

"Forgive me, sir."

"What on earth possessed you, man? Hm?"

"I... only wish I knew, sir. I confess that I do not know what came over me, sir."

"I see. You realise that I could have you before the gratings for laying hands on your Captain?"

"It was not my hands, sir."

"Ah-hmm. No, I... suppose not. Kindly inform me, sir, do you intend to indulge in this outrageous behaviour in the future?"

"Oh, no, sir, certainly not. Indeed I never intended to do it this time."

"I see. But notwithstanding you engaged in the action anyway."

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."

"Hmmm... You know, Hornblower, sometimes your impetuosity is a distinct advantage."

"Sir?"

"Tell me, sir - do you desire to lay hands on your captain again, hmm?"

"Oh, sir, I... I must confess that I do, sir."

"I see. Very well, Mr Hornblower. You may kiss your captain once more."

"Sir?"

"Repeat the action, sir."

"You wish me to... to kiss you again, sir?"

"Heavens, man, how clear do I have to make myself! Kiss me, Hornblower."

"Y-yes, sir!"

<pause>

"You know you do that quite well, Hornblower."

"Thank you, sir. And you will not have me up before the gratings, sir?"

"My dear boy, I have altogether another form of punishment in mind for you."

"Punishment, sir?"

"Quite so, Mr Hornblower. Such an act of insubordination cannot remain unpunished as I am sure you will agree."

"Uh, yes, sir. And if I may be so bold as to inquire the nature of my punishment?"

"My dear sir, I intend to have you up before the mast."

"The... mast, sir?  I do not believe that I am familiar with that form of punishment."

"You should know, sir, that the mast is a much more formidable form of punishment than the gratings - as you are about to find out!"

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